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Should You Tell Your Children About Your Breast Augmentation?

If you don't have any children, you can skip this section. If you do have children, this section might offer some advice on how to handle this sometimes sensitive issue. 

Telling your children about your surgery is a very personal choice.  It is a decision that you must make based on your child's level of maturity, understanding, and comprehension of adult matters.  

It may also depend upon your child's ability to keep a secret unless you wish his or her entire third grade class to know that you are getting breast implants. 

Obviously, we don't want to lie to our children. Some of us may say nothing and hope they don't notice. But as you know, children are very attuned to their parents' bodies and changes in your appearance may trigger questions and comments. 

Although the choice is obviously yours to make, and how you wish to approach the situation entirely depends on you and your child, we can offer you the experiences of other parents who had breast augmentation and their children in hopes of making it easier on you. Knowing how others before you have dealt with such issues can help you go about telling, or not telling, your own children.

The first thing to consider is your child's level of curiosity, awareness, and ability to understand what breast augmentation surgery is, and also why you would have it.

After you decide if you should tell your child, then you can better determine how you will tell your child if you choose to do so.  We hope you find these comments and tips from mothers who had breast augmentation surgery useful in your own situation. If you have any additional suggestions or experiences, please drop us a line to help the next mother in her situation.

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My daughter that is 14 yrs old was excited for me, but got tired pretty quick with helping me out, typical teenager, haha. My son that is almost 9 yrs old was very concerned that I was in pain & was always wanting to make sure my "cut" was okay. My surgery was April 9th so it wasn't that long ago, he still asks me if I'm ok now.  Poor little guy. 

 ~ Stacy 

My three year old son always wanted me to pick him up...So after my surgery I showed him the top of my strap and said it was a big band-aid, because Mommy has a boo-boo. He really seemed to understand this, he doesn't want me to pick him up even now for fear of hurting me. It was a little embarrassing the other day when he told his preschool teacher "Mom's boobs have a boo boo."  

 ~ Annie                 

I have a son age 13, a daughter age 10 & a son age 3. I did not choose to tell them. I just didn't want to send them the wrong message about self-esteem. As you know, society labels plastic surgery patients as unstable, insecure individuals. I do not believe that to be true, but didn't really know how to make them understand that.

When they are older, I may tell them, but at this time I feel that BA is an "adult issue" and they are children so I didn't want to tell them.

Luckily, I started with Bronchitis & a sinus infection right before surgery so they think I've been laying around sick from that. The two older ones have been very caring & nurturing through this whole thing. They keep getting me cold drinks & pillows etc.

I want it to be known that this is just how I chose to handle it, but I'm not saying it is the ONLY way to do so. I fully respect the people who have told their children. Everyone is different and no one knows for sure what the right thing to do is.

I only went 330cc's so its not a huge difference (unless I have my shirt off. LOL) so I don't think they will notice.

~ Shelley

I did not tell my children.Did they understand what was going on? They had been at their dad's a week prior and a week after -- when they came home they just thought I was very sick. Funny - they came home talking about how FAKE Britney Spears' boobs were - and my daughter had a ba-zillion q's about "plastic" boobs..

What made you decide they were at a maturity level high enough to understand?  I feel NOW they are -- and I would tell them 7/9 -- OK that is a FIB b/c I still have NOT told them... But if having the surgery now I would of - BUT be warned a 7 year old WILL TELL her friends and teacher(s) - GUARANTEED!
Did they show concern? Always...

Did they show signs of stress about your being possibly hurt? They would of! Especially my daughter!

Did you ask them not to tell others? My daughter recently ANNOUNCED her mommie's scars under both breasts!!! ARGH!!! There goes my sternum surgery excuse!;) Actually then a l'il boy stood up and announced his mommy ALSO had the very same scars!!! LOL!!!

Did they help take care of you? Yes

What did they think about the "new" you? They did not notice... Afterall, Mommy has always had big boobs - RIGHT?!?! (I had just been through a series of pregnancies so they were very used to my boobs jumping from B to DD...

~ Chaz

I have four children, 13,11,7,3.  I told them I needed to go in and get some surgery done.  They immediately were concerned.  I re-assured them I was not sick and this was by choice...and the only thing I told them specifically about what I was going to do was "To have a couple of things fixed."  "Nothing major."  Then I immediately told them step by step what would happen (for the older ones).  I would go in the morning of, change clothes they would give me an IV with fluids and when it was time would give me meds, etc....you get the picture.

With mine I stayed overnight, but had them come visit me so they could see that I was OK and talking and walking around.  Since I have young daughters I was so afraid of sending them the wrong message about BA and not willing to take the chance that they would misinterpret what I was doing.  I didn't elaborate!!!  When they are adults and old enough to not be so influenced by my choices and have established who they are I will tell them in detail.  Having a couple in puberty it was very difficult to make the decision on how much to reveal.  I think the most important thing for my family is that everyone knew ahead of time, knew what I would be going through and that Mom was going to be ok.
The only one who noticed were my two little ones.  The seven yr old commented "you look bigger." I simply said, "Yes, honey, a little."

My 3 yr old would never rest his head on my chest because I didn't have pillows like Grandma.  He does now!  That's the best!

They helped a little.  I made sure things like snacks were at the level my 7yr old could get to.  My older two stayed away w/ family for two weeks since I couldn't drive them to and from school (quite a distance).  Dinners I prepared ahead of surgery and within three days I was clear headed enough to get just about everything done.  I pushed myself trying to keep everything normal for them.  I let my 7yr old know she would need to listen a little better and help more for a little while.  She's done pretty well.

I think I covered EVERYTHING but feel free to get in touch with me on the board if you have more questions.  You will get a lot of good advice in this forum! 

Welcome

~ Carole

My children are both boys and they will be 14 and 5 when I have this done in August.  My 14 year old is opposed to it because he does not feel that I should be doing something to my body that is not natural (This from a child who tells me on a daily basis that he needs braces).  My 5 year old has no real concept of what it means, but he will realize it once it is done because he is a little boobie-aholic.  From the time he was born until he was a year old, I breastfed him and since then he has always made sure that he "centers his universe" as my husband puts it by touching my breast while he is asleep if I am holding him.  I am not sure what I will tell him once it is finished but I most definitely will not be able to hide it from him so I had better think of something quick. LOL!

~ Darlene H

I have a ten year old daughter and a 18 month old son. Obviously my son is not old enough for me to tell, but my daughter I did tell.  She is very mature for her age and would have surely figured it out on her own anyways.  I got my BA due to loss of volume from breastfeeding both of my children for 10 months each and honestly had nothing but skin left.  I had told her after I was done breastfeeding my son that I could not wear any of my old bras or bathing suits etc. and explained to her that I was thinking about getting a BA to get my boobs back to the way they were before I had children.  Once she saw me in the shower she completely understood.  She said " Ew mom they look gross!" LOL!!  She had a lot of questions that I answered the best I could and I made sure to get the message across that the way you look is not the most important thing.  She has a good head on her shoulders and I do believe she understands.

She was very concerned about me but I did not experience much pain so once I was home and she saw that I was ok she was fine.  I did tell her that it was a private thing and she respects that but I am sure her best friends know. LOL.  She was a big help taking care of me post op and helping me with her little brother.  She thinks that I look good but Always says, "Mom are you looking at BOOBS AGAIN!! LOL!  My husband was home with me for the first 3 days and my sister came and stayed with me for the first 5 days and then my grandma came and stayed with us for the week following that. I needed help with my 18 month old!  I was told to not lift more than 10 pounds for 2 weeks after the BA.  They all were a great help to me. 

~ Mistie

I have always been very open about my body with my daughter, she just turned eleven.  She sees me naked all the time, as we get dressed in the same room.  Even though we each have our own room and our own bathroom, she comes into mine most of the time.  She is in that age where girls are really starting to wonder and learn about their own bodies.  When I decided to have my surgery, I told her from the start that I was thinking about it and why.  She seemed to understand that I wanted to look better and that I didn't "need" new boobs, I wanted them for me.  She was very excited and would check the message board with me each day.  She loves all the dolls here, I let her build a doll for herself that she keeps on the desktop and sends to her friends.  My daughter is very analytical and wanted to know all the details of how the surgery was going to happen and exactly what was going to be done.  I explained to her everything that I had learned about the procedure and showed her allot of before and after pics.  She was, of course, worried about me and that I would be in pain afterward, but seemed to know that I would need her help when I got home.  She stayed with her Dad for the first week after my surgery, but when she cam home she wanted to see the incisions, and even has gone to two post op appointments with me, and watched the Dr. take out my stitches.  When I recently injured my right breast, she was very concerned, especially when she could see the swelling an that it was getting bigger than my left.  When I told her I needed to have surgery again to fix it, she was concerned but happy that I wouldn't be in pain anymore.  I never told her not to tell anyone about my surgery, it's quite obvious that I had it done, but I have heard her telling her friends about my scars.  She likes to help me pick out new tops, and thinks its so cool that I shop at Forever 21.  I think that going through this with her knowing all about it has been amazing, she asks questions still, and loves to come here with me and see what's up with all mom's pretty friends!!!

~ Debbie B

Did they understand what it was?

Yes. They are 13 and 9.  I told them exactly what and why I was doing this.  I didn't want to at first.  It was hard -- my 13 year old boy was a little freaked -- but they accepted it.

What made you decide they were at a maturity level high enough to understand?

They were too old to hide it, frankly.  We don't hide a lot around here.  I knew they'd feel bad if I didn't include them on something so important as my surgery.  I want them to share their lives with me; although I was nervous about exposing the surgery, I felt I should be honest.

Did they show concern?

LOL. Yes.  My 9 year old worried about the effects of surgery.  My 13 year old worried that his friends would find out his mom had new boobs!

Did they show signs on stress about your being possibly hurt?

No, just concern after surgery.  They were very nice and helpful.

Did you ask them not to tell others?

Yes.

Did they help take care of you?

Yes.  My 13 year old made quite a show about making sure "mom doesn't hurt her boobs..."  Opened doors, etc.

What did they think about the "new" you?

They don't say much. They're happy that I'm happy.

Any funny stories or comments your kids made?

Just the above from my 13 year old son.  He was TOTALLY against the surgery.  Later, he supported me by helping out apres-surgery and being quite a help with the two dogs and his sister.  The kids were my biggest concern, but they've accepted it nicely.

I am so delighted with the outcome. I can't recommend it enough!

~ Rebecca1

I have 4 children, 2 daughters ages 22 & 17 and 2 sons, ages 20 & 14 1/2 and 3 stepchildren, ages 17 (a stepdaughter), 15 & 7 (stepsons).  All my children knew about it & I enlisted the help of my daughters to actually drive & babysit me the day of surgery because DH had a major project come up (he offered to blow it off...I said no).  I don't think my stepchildren know.  The boys are here about 3 weekends out of 4 and weren't around the time of surgery and my stepdaughter is only here a weekend a month. I am not very close to her.  I've wore padded push-up bras and bathing suits so I doubt they will notice unless something is said by one of my children as an aside this summer...which may happen, but if it does it won't be an issue.  At this point, I don't think the 7 year old would catch on to any conversation about the surgery as he's had no exposure to this kind of thing and has absolutely no interest in boobs, mine or anyone else's.

My kids are acclimated to the medical field and I've had several surgeries so, while I won't say this was no big deal, they weren't worried about it.  Both my daughters were very excited and curious as to how it would turn out.  I showed them both the results immediately after surgery and then once my boobs dropped and fluffed.

I never really expressed to them that I wanted this to remain confidential.  I'm sure my daughters have shared it with their close friends and that doesn't bother me.  In fact, my 20 yr. old son's girlfriend of over 4 years is aware of it.  My DH and 14 yr. old son like to crack jokes about my big ole jugs now and once they get on a roll you can't stop them!

My mom had implants put in when I was about 19.  There was no negative impact to my self esteem or how I viewed myself. I understood exactly why she did it.  I remember all the pain she went through those first couple of days, as will my daughters remember about me, but how happy with herself she was afterwards, as I am as well.

~ Jules

Both my girls know.  The 20 yr. old is jealous and sooo excited for me.  She is a second yr. nursing student so I am getting all kinds of advice from her LOL.  I'm very nervous and she keeps telling me it will be all right.  My 15yr. old is excited too.  She keeps telling me "you'll have cleavage, won't it be great to look in the mirror and kinda see them under your arms, you need to get you a two piece mom...etc"  They both think it's great.  The only Negative has been that I'm not allowed to go bigger than them LOL.  They're both full C's.  Don't know where that came from.  I know they will be ton's of help...my daughter is coming home Thursday night 5/8...I'm having it done 5/6.

Funny story: My 20yr old was here a couple of weeks ago w/ her boyfriend.  She said mom I hope this doesn't make you feel funny..."Wes (that's the boyfriend) take a look at mom because this is the last time you'll see her looking like this." Gosh...girls!!!

~ Nan

My son is 6 and my daughter is 2.... I did told him about having my BA (future - 23rd May).  He is OK with it and he just want to help.  I told him I will need some help - making his bed, serving himself.  Not making too much noise when I will sleep... I am working on my BA for a year now and he saw me searching and he told me once - I WANT YOU TO HAVE THESE BREASTS!!!- (I was printing things I wanted and things I didn't want).  He is a little concern about the size!!!  More than his father! LOL.

I think he is all right with it. These days a lot of people are having BA and I think it was in my duty to tell him about it.

~ Zaby 

Did they understand what it was? - She kind of understood what it was, but not why I wanted to do it.

What made you decide they were at a maturity level high enough to understand? - She over heard me taking about having surgery and asked me about it.

Did they show concern? - yes

Did they show signs on stress about your being possibly hurt? - yes 

Did you ask them not to tell others? - yes (but she did anyway)

Did they help take care of you? - she tried

What did they think about the "new" you? - she said she liked the other ones better because these were too big and it was just too hard to help me find a bra. (she says she wants to be a "B", because they have lots of those bras)

Any funny stories or comments your kids made - Jessi goes to the after school program at the YMCA, and during prayer time (the day of my pre-op) she asked if she could say a special prayer for her mommy because her mommy was having surgery. They said yes and asked her what kind of surgery her mom was having, and she told the instructors, and the entire class, that her mommy was getting her breasts fixed.

Weeks later the instructor's daughter (who works at my bank) told me about it.  Just blurted it out.  I was so embarrassed.  But "out of the mouths of babies."

Did you have a babysitter, parents help out with watching them or did your s/o watch them?  Any preparation? - My 20 year old daughter and my ex-husband stayed with me for a few days.  My older daughter took care of me, and my ex took care of my 9 year old.  I could not have done it without them.

Any other comments or tips you may have for mothers preparing for BA. - Have someone there to help you take care of your children.  You can hardly take care of yourself much less them. And good luck.

~ Tess in SC

My daughter is 18 and just brought her friend by so she could say happy boobie day and hope I get to feeling better. The older they get the more they understand for sure!  My whole family is telling EVERYONE!  Heck even Bruzer's accountant knows! LOL They are all going to the extreme!

I think that children are very smart, even the little ones.  Truth if spoken with sincerity and honesty they will understand. I am the type that does not hide things, and when I was an addict my 9 year old knew even though I thought I was "hiding" it.  I guess my point here is that children are not stupid and they know what's up whether you want to believe it or not.  I don't think a 3 year old needs to be told, but I do believe a 5+ year old does.  They know already!  Makes them feel like your not hiding something from them or feeling left out of a very big thing in Mommy's life.  I learned that through experience.  Mine to this day brings up things that I "hid" from her and asks why I just didn't tell her.

I always have something to say about everything don't I?!?! LOL

~ Kathy B

I have a 2 yr. old daughter and an 8 yr. old daughter.  I wasn't concerned about my 2 year old other than, I'm gonna have to have help lifting her, bathing her, etc. for awhile.  I was however, concerned about what my 8 year old would think about the BA.  I honestly didn't think she was mature enough to understand what I was going to do.  A couple of weeks b4 my BA I told her that I would be having surgery and she's have to help out with her sissy. She agreed to help with whatever she could.  Then the question was asked, "What kind of surgery?"  I feel guilty that I didn't tell her the truth but, plan to when she's older.  My reply was "I'm getting moles removed."  The day after my surgery she came up to me while I was resting and looked at my chest. She said, "Mom, look how lucky you are!  When they removed your moles your boobies got bigger!" LOL!!

~ Rebecca

All 3 of my boys knew before I had my BA that I was having it done. They were 5, 7&10 at the time. My 10 year old was very understanding and helpful. I had my surgery right before they went back to school and even when asked what was wrong they said I wasn't feeling good and needed to sleep. My oldest asked why I was having it done I told him so I can look as good as I did before I had children and he understood. When my MIL had hers done in April he said, "Did you do this to look as good as you did before kids? That's why MY mom did it." She laughed and said yes. If I had to do it all over again I would of told them more that way they could have helped after my surgery. I didn't think they understood what I was doing. I'm glad they were my helpers. 

~ Tammy

Do You Have Any Tips On How To Tell About Your Surgery To Kids?

If you have any comments that may be of help to mothers having breast augmentation surgery, email us and let us know! We'd love to be able to offer your wisdom to others in their surgical preparation or recovery. Sharing your experiences with other others can help them prepare and provide insight on how to approach children about this very personal surgery.

Possible content ideas may include:

• Did your kids understand what it was?
• What made you decide they were at a maturity level high enough to understand?
• Did they show concern?
• Did they show signs on stress about your being possibly hurt?
• Did you ask them not to tell others?
• Did they help take care of you?
• What did they think about the "new" you?
• Any funny stories or comments your kids made?
• Did you have a babysitter, parents help out with watching them or did your significant other watch them? Any preparation?
• Any other comments or tips you may have for mothers preparing for breast augmentation?